By Gaurav Arora
17/02/2010
Coaching is process of partnering with your coachee in a thought-provoking and creative way that inspires them to maximize their potential at a very holistic level. It can provide a high level of self awareness and self confidence. It’s a process which empowers an individual to bridge the gap between where he is and where he thinks he could be/or where he wants to be. The best part is anyone could be any one’s coach provided you have the required competencies. You don’t need to be a golfer to coach a golfer. The process helps a coachee in the overall personal development including motivation, time management, career, relationships, financials, goal setting, spirituality, creativity etc.
Often people ask me what I can do and how I can improve someone’s performance. The first question makes me wonder and ask myself “How should I answer?” To me a good coach could be one who can make a real difference to the life of the coachee. To the second question I respond- I can’t enhance anybody’s performance and in fact no other coach can do it. The control lies with you; if you are willing to work on yourself then you can move from where you are towards your desired position. The result doesn’t depend on the coach and of course in no ways am I saying that the coach does not need to have the relevant coaching competencies.
Every time I get any coaching assignment from an organization, I ensure I interact with the client before we finalize on the contract. Getting a buy-in from the coachee is more important than getting the business. I try and find out what is it that he expects out of this relationship and what success means to him in the short and long term from being in this process. At the same time, I make all expectations clear - what a Coach does and the areas he can’t do anything about. Very early in my career as a coach, I was taught that my performance will be the direct reflection of my coachee’s performance. In case the coachee doesn’t perform because of any reason, it perhaps reflects the coaching skills. So, on one hand the coachee’s performance becomes the coach’s responsibility and that’s where it becomes important for both of them to perform not because of any compulsion but by choice and commitment. Making commitments and adhering to them are two separate things. It is easy to slip back into the routine because of the efforts the process demands. Therefore, one needs to watch out.
At the organizational level, another challenge I often face is when organizations roll out the coaching project with the headline- “The Process will make you better”. The problem with this approach is that the emphasis is on the "Process" and not the "you". How is this possible and how can a coach or for that matter anyone on earth can make someone better? The clients should understand that ultimately only he/she can make himself/herself better. It’s like that horse rider who has the map. In case he is not interested, the map is of no use. It won’t take him anywhere. So, it becomes more important for the rider to consciously lead his life based on his own terms and choices. All the resources including the horse, map, etc. are futile without the intent of the rider. The deeper the buy-in from the coachee, better the chances for the process to work. The more they feel that the process is being imposed on them, higher the chances for this process to have a fatal ending. As a coach, it’s our responsibility to sense the coachee’s commitment and if we find that the client is just playing for fun, we should have the courage and conviction to stop the process.
In today’s knowledge era, the more you know the less it is and mostly everyone is better or knowledgeable than the person he is talking to. In the corporate world, I believe if the managers can learn to coach their teams, it can do wonders. It shall definitely enhance the overall productivity of an individual and the team subsequently. Coaching creates a space for everyone to breathe and prosper. It makes the environment fertile where great ideas can mushroom. When you use a coach, it's a wonderful opportunity to offload your concerns, issues and complaints without any fear. You just speak your heart out. Your coach offers confidentiality and objectivity. Many times, most concerns and complaints of my coachees are resolved by just listening to them and then they realize that there was not any concern really. At the same time, getting an objective perspective on your situation is invaluable. You will feel more motivated and enthused. Can you think of a situation where a team member is discussing his concerns with his manager without any fear? That feels really empowering.
Every individual has his own perception of reality which is sacrosanct for him. A coach is not someone who will get the fruits for you to eat and enjoy. In fact, he is the one who can create awareness and help you see through your own blind spots, and inspire you to get over them. According to my observation, coaching works better in case the coach doesn’t have any idea of the background and knows nothing of the situation the caochee describes. In this way the coaching would be pure, and unadulterated. Also, that’s where he can bring an outside and fresh perspective which will help you to look at and handle the challenges more creatively. As a coach, it’s very-very important to accept the coachee the way he/she is and believe that the other person has all the resources to bring in and make all the changes that he wants in his life. I would consider it as the number one principle.
In order to bring in the change, it becomes important to question beliefs sometimes. Through the process of coaching, individuals focus on the skills and actions needed to successfully produce their personally relevant results. The way you build rapport and help the other person find solutions for himself makes a genuine difference. Trust people for not only what they are but also what they are capable of being. I have learnt all these skills from my coach who saw not only what I was but what I was capable of being. Her trust in me gave me that support to work harder on myself when things were not so bright and in my favour. And that’s what gave me strength to move towards my desired goal. When someone is there by your side, guiding you through the rockier moments of your life, energy and enthusiasm get automatically released.
It’s really the difference that makes all the difference!
The author is the Founder, Inspire Coaching Systems, a professional training and coaching company.
